#there was just the one book tho. a shame.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
following from the depression reader post,
reader just leaves, finally just ups and leaves with no word. Starts a new life as a seamstress in a factory, gets remarried and is finally happy. New husband spends all his free time with reader, going to the market with her to get food, surprising her with a new book once in a while, their home isn’t even close to what reader used to live in, the new one being cramped, cold and filthy, but with her husband she doesn’t care, reader finally knows what she’s been missing out on. its not enough but it’s enough for them.
Until john shows up with the boys, trying to wait out the rumor talk of what happened to reader, especially after she was discovered missing. the wealthy folk quick to point fingers at john, asking why he spent so much time with simon and his butler and his cook instead of his wife, did he do away with her so he could have the boys to himself? Little does john know the rumours have spread to the commoners.
Reader is out at the market with her husband when she sees john and freezes, her husband is quick to pick up on something due to the fear and emptiness in readers eyes (reader has never fully talked about john, just stated her last marriage was miserable and traumatic), john sees reader but doesn’t know it’s reader cuz her appearance has changed.
little convo between john and husband
john to reader: you look so much like her, you have the same look in your eyes she had when i saw her last.
husband, done with this bs already: you mean the look of emptiness and fear?
the common folk start talking about it, did reader really look at john in fear before she disappeared? basically reader living the life she deserves and john makes it so much worse for him and the boys
OR
reader dies due to starvation and john tries to cover up her death, distraught on how he let this happen. The boys have stopped talking to him and each other due to the guilt and shame of an innocents blood on their hands, maybe a maid let’s slip what happened and john and the boys get exiled from society for what they did to reader.
For the first one, I’m just imagining how they can’t look away from you. You look scarily like the duchess… it’s uncanny, and maybe just a little suspicious but- but you are married, on the arms of another man and he is calling you a different name than that of John’s duchess.
The husband really dgaf about the fact that John (and his accompanying ensemble ) are obviously nobles, and just gently pushes you behind him to protect you. He hates how numb you look, an expression that should never be on your face. It’s why he doesn’t linger after he says his words to John, aware that everyone watching will also hear, before he’s herding you back to the safety and comfort of your home.
If his comment starts a wave of rumors that slowly spread and grow, then he simply doesn’t care. Hopefully that prick noble never shows his face around you ever again.
You, who he makes sure to spoil with his love and adoration for her.
The second part tho:
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
Oh this is a great question to think about! Tbh I had a lot of hopes back when the series was premiering (and before when it was just announced), so to go off of those... well first off, I really really wanted an exploration of Loki's trauma, his past and even his psyche. Like I know a psychological thriller/horror probably wouldn't have been in the cards for a Disney+ show, but tbf I feel like the creators of Wandavision touched on aspects found in those types of genres (if in a PG 13 kind of way) so I don't think I was too off base for hoping to see something like that for Loki. (Not to mention the ridiculous comparisons to films like Se7en and The Silence of the Lambs that Mike Waldron kept making... but I'm not gonna get into that rant again.)
I think I would've put a lot of focus on what the hell actually happened to Loki when he fell into the Void and disappeared for an entire year or so, and how he ended up encountering Thanos and the Black Order, how that all went down, etc. Either through flashbacks, or (possibly altered) memories, or Loki recounting those events interview/interrogation-style (and being an extremely unreliable narrator in doing so, like for instance saying something like "I made a deal with Thanos and worked with him willingly" and then at some point you see into his head through flashbacks/night terrors and realize that clearly wasn't the case, just stuff like that). The possibilities were endless tbh, like there's just so many creative opportunities to explore that one aspect of Loki's backstory. And since that's such a burning question to me (and many other fans tbh) still to this day, I feel like that'd be the first thing I'd want to tackle.
Another important thing I'd want to include would be Loki's gender fluidity and his bi identity. Like I don't think it necessarily has to go with Loki referring to himself as bi, like I don't think he has to say the actual word "bi" in order to give any meaningful kind of rep?? Especially now that Agatha All Along has come out, I feel like I'd want to approach Loki's identity in a similar type of way, just unapologetic, and as authentic as possible to his comic book counter part. Like hell, he can have hang ups with those parts of his identity (which would actually make sense, being from Asgard and since he already has a lot of self-loathing issues in general due to being Jotun).
I wouldn't mind that, especially if it was done in a non-typical way, like maybe it's not being sexually intimate with men/males that's looked down upon on Asgard, but - similar to the Norse apparently - it's on what role they play, or basically who's the "bottom" - that gets shamed, or maybe same sex relationships aren't looked down upon at all on Asgard, but giving birth/getting pregnant while being/presenting as male is, bc it's seen as unnatural, and then let Loki go through an experience where he develops deep rooted insecurities about those aspects of his identity due to Asgard's cultural prejudices. And like this doesn't even have to be explicit (tho after the birth scenes in both Wandavision and especially Agatha All Along I can't help but roll my eyes at ppl having a hang up with Loki going thru something like this, especially if they were totally okay with Wanda and Agatha having birthing scenes, but anyways). It can be something as simple and as subtle as Loki finding out he's pregnant (maybe he can magically feel the fetus growing inside him, or he can hear the heartbeat/etc, or maybe it's as simple as having morning sickness and/or a change of diet). And it just ends up with him drinking tea/potion (due to pressure from Odin/Frigga/society, or maybe he's not ready and seeks it out himself) which gets rid of the baby, but again it's done in a very non graphic way. Of course the whole mpreg thing is just an example, and doesn't have to be in a series about Loki (that's what fanfic is for!) but basically: let Loki be queer, he can have hang ups about being queer, and tbh I'd want the hang ups to be kind of different from the usual discussions/portrayals of queerness in media mainly bc Asgard's an alien/fantasy society so I'd want their cultural norms to be pretty different from ours (human society in general), but overall just let Loki be queer, goddamnit!
Furthermore, I'd want to explore Loki's self loathing in particular, and see his view of himself change as he develops and grows throughout the series. If he encounters other versions of himself then I'd want to see what that would look like... and preferably done differently from how the show approached it (regarding Sylvie). Like I don't want him to just, I don't know, praise his other self up the way he ends up doing in the series (I know he also fought with Sylvie at the beginning but tbh I couldn't really take their rivalry seriously, it felt very sibling-like - which I actually enjoyed at the time, mind you, but a reflection of one's internal self-hatred it certainly is NOT, and like overall the whole dynamic just didn't work for me bc I find those two characters so undeniably different from each other and therefore it doesn't really work as a metaphor for self hatred/self love, but that's neither here nor there).
Like - let it be messy! Let it actually be vitriolic and hateful if that's what the series is trying to convey. Let Loki be angry, let him rage, let him lash out - at versions of himself and at other characters, like c'mon! This is a character that has a lot of inner darkness and has suffered through a lot of trauma and has difficulty trusting others due to said trauma (especially if we're going with Avengers era Loki) so how about we Show That.
Tbh I wouldn't have minded for Loki's main villain (both in the series overall and wrt the lead character) to be a version of himself. (As long as it was portrayed in a thoughtful way, like don't just make him evil please, in fact he doesn't even have to be evil at all - he doesn't have to destroy or conquer other worlds, he could literally just be out there destroying all versions of Loki, which would force our protagonist to fight/confront this person hunting him down). Like I think there would be so many possibilities for all of the ways a protagonist could deal with a "villain" - or rather, an antagonist like that. Some far more darker than others, depending on how you want your story to go. Like it could end similarly to the Agent of Asgard comics (where I believe Loki ends up forgiving and embracing his "evil" self... tho I've not read the comics so please feel free to correct me if I've gotten something wrong). Or if I were writing this series, I would've just had Loki forced into a position where, after being worn down to reaching his emotional breaking point, and in a fit of sheer rage, he'd end up brutally murdering the antagonistic version of himself, in the ultimate form of self destruction, and then I'd have him reeling from the internal consequences of such an extreme form of violence done against himself - but that's just my ridiculously morbid psychological-horror-loving ass for you. I'd just want to completely unravel him ngl, before having him overcome the impossible by rebuilding himself once more (w/ a little help from his newfound friends)...
If the TVA had to be involved in some way, I'd want to approach them as an ominous totalitarian organization, and if Loki were to be tortured by said organization, it most certainly would NOT be portrayed as some throw-away-attempt-at-comedy-type-of-scene (AHEM). I'd go for a darker tone overall, and Loki's torture at the TVA would be portrayed with all of the horror demanded by those types of scenes dealing with that kind of subject matter.
Tbh I have so many ideas for a Loki-centric show, some that involve the TVA and some that don't, but there's just so many threads and I don't want to make this any more convoluted than it already is, so to put it simply: I'd want the focus to be on Loki first and foremost. If it's called Loki, then it should be about the main lead, similar to how Agatha All Along was about Agatha, and Wandavision was about Wanda. (Which means, if the TVA has to be involved, then they would be secondary to the series' main focus - which would be on Loki and his relationship with himself.) Secondly, I'd want to see his trauma not only brought up, but fully explored. Which includes his traumatic upbringing (Odin's A++ Parenting, Frigga's enabling, family dysfunction, Asgard's toxic social/cultural norms) as well as the horror he experienced in the Void and on Sanctuary, maybe even some events in the first Avengers film, but seen through Loki's eyes this time. And I'd just want Loki to be queer, so if he's bi then let him have previous (or current!) relationships (or flirtations) with men (or attraction towards men) as well as women, if he's gender fluid then Show. That. Whether he physically transforms into a woman at times, or through his inner monologue where he refers to himself with different pronouns even if his gender presentation hasn't changed, or even his ambivalence towards being trapped/labeled in a one-gender-ticked-box, but Show. It. That part of his identity deserves to be shown, especially in a series where Loki's the central character.
If you yourself could’ve directed/wrote the Loki series, what would you have done differently? What would you have wanted to see in a series about Loki? What would you have focused on? Would the series take place somewhere other than the TVA? Which characters would you include? What would be the end goal? What aspects of his character would be explored?
#Loki#Loki Series AU#MCU Loki#So this was... A Lot.#I guess I had a lot of thoughts on the matter lol...#Also with regards to Thor: while I think his relationship with Loki is very important to Loki's character overall -#- I wouldn't want to place too much focus on their relationship mainly bc Thor already has his own film series...#(Which is meant to focus on Thor and on his relationship with his brother... )#(Now whether the films actually do a good job on conveying those things are a whole other matter... )#But yeah. Basically I'd want the Loki show to be about LOKI.#(Tho further exploration of Loki's love for his family and memories of his brother would definitely fall into this... )#Anyways this was long enough!#Loki Series Criticism#Just in case bc I didn't remain as neutral in tone as I initially wanted to be...#Also also: with regards to morality and redemption arcs... tbh when it comes to Loki I'm more interested in a character study approach...#Tho I wouldn't mind if he reflected on some of the destructive actions he's taken - from the invasion of Earth -#- to the attempted annihilation of Jotunheim...#As well as seemingly ''smaller'' destructive moments... such as when he'd nearly killed a human Thor back in the first film...#His denial of Frigga being his mother right before her death...#As well as his perceived guilt over Frigga's death...#(Assuming he somehow managed to see how his life would've played out had he not taken the Tesseract.)#More than anything I'd want to explore Loki's self destructive tendencies - and ultimately end it on Loki reconciling with himself...#Including the aspects of himself that he hates... whether it's as something as blameless as being born the ''wrong'' race...#Or being so very unlike the Asgardian ideal...#His feelings of being a ''monster'' due to his Jotunness...#As well as due to the destructive actions he'd taken during previous films...#''Deep down Loki wants to be Worthy''#(A paraphrased quote from the Thor: The Dark World BTS that I can't help but think about from time to time... )#If Loki were to have a redemption arc... I'd want it to play out in a way where it's completely intertwined with his self-healing arc...#Basically: You can't have one without the other.
137 notes
·
View notes
Text
i will never understand how or why the httyd movies did the books such an injustice.
the movies aren't even an adaptation - they stole the name of the series, the name of some of the characters and places, and the general idea that there are dragons. honestly, i would be fine with the movies and maybe even like them if they didn't capitalize off of cressida cowell's incredible books that never get any credit.
the books are an amazing story about the cycle of violence and how vengeance and revenge is dangerous. hiccup says that the past is a ghost story, one we need to learn from to better ourselves. the books are about how everyone deserves freedom, how every creature, every being on the earth deserves to be free. we see that in the slavemark, with the dragons.
and like... hiccup is so different. they did him a severe injustice. he's scrawny and intelligent and learned to talk to dragons simply by observing them! he chooses kindness first above all else; instead of yelling at toothless to train him, he is kind. and in the end, that kindness is why toothless chose to save him. bc even toothless himself says that dragons are inherently selfish creatures who care only for their survival. hiccup is brave - his beliefs differ drastically from both the vikings and the world.
hiccup is a child who chose to do the right thing even at the expense of himself. he agreed to free the slaves on nobert's ship, and in return, they gave him the slavemark which is easy to give but cannot be removed. he was like twelve. and having the slavemark means he cannot be with his tribe or his family, it means he isn't considered a human being anymore. and he keeps it a secret for awhile until it's revealed and when it is everyone turns their backs on hiccup. his family, his tribe, his mentor, people he TRUSTED. everyone except fishlegs, and, once she got over the shock, camicazi. he was thirteen. and even when he lost his memories and was really injured, he persisted. he was told to go to tomorrow and to save the dragons and he did bc in his heart he knew it was right even though he didn't know who he was or how he got there.
and fishlegs,,, oh my god FISHLEGS!!! the did him SO DIRTY!!! fishlegs is hiccup's best friend, one of the main motivators for hiccup. he steals norbert's potato for the sake of fishlegs, he gives fishlegs his dragon and goes to retrieve another, he takes the blame for fishlegs. and fishlegs does the same for him. he takes the slavemark with pride. he refuses to turn. he gives hiccup his lobster claw necklace which is his most prized possession. he is brave for hiccup, he believes hiccup is alive. he fights for hiccup harder than anyone else ever has. he does not turn. his is loyal, has allergies, has asthma, has a squint and a limp, has glasses bc he's blind without them... and he's still a hero despite being a runt, despite everyone even the adults telling him he's hopeless, telling hiccup to leave him behind.
and they cut camicazi! i'm sorry, but astr*d is nothing compared to camicazi. camicazi is a tiny, feral child who can easily best hiccup, fishlegs, and pretty much anyone in a sword fight. she can bring a grown man to tears with her rudery and smack talk. she is recklessly brave and craves adventure and follows hiccup blindly bc she trusts him that much. she isn't in love with hiccup - in fact she doesn't care about romance and love. she gives up everything to help hiccup bc she has a strong sense of justice. she is the motivator, the cheerleader, she finds a positive in everything. she never gives up. literally never gives up. and that's one of the most inspiring things about her: she always has hope.
and toothless! god!!! toothless is *thought to be* a common or garden dragon. he is horrifically tiny, he is literally toothless, and is the biggest brat in the world. he will cause problems on purpose. he has a stutter, he's the most selfless selfish dragon around. he and hiccup can talk to each other. he masks his fear with singing and being annoying. his growth is remarkable. he starts off refusing to obey hiccup, doing the opposite of what he says, making life harder for literally everyone around him, and he's still somewhat like that. but he's also braver, more caring, more willing to make sacrifices for the sake of others. he's clever, which he needs to be to make up for his size and aggression. he protects hiccup with everything he has, therefore, he protects what hiccup cares about just as hard. he was the only dragon that didn't abandon the vikings in the first book bc he cared about hiccup.
and snotlout,,, god,,, i will never forgive the movies for butchering snotlout. hiccup's cousin, the bully character, the one who is horrifically jealous that hiccup's dad was born before his. the one who desperately wants to prove himself, to be worthy, to make people proud. and you hate him, you despise him. he betrays everyone many times bc of the nothing promised to him by alvin and his mom. he loses himself, turns his back on himself, all bc he wants to prove himself. all bc he wants to be better than hiccup. and hiccup still forgives him and gives him chances, sometimes out of pity, but also bc snotlout is his cousin. he can't just turn his back on him no matter how miserable snotlout made his life. and in the end, snotlout sacrifices himself for hiccup. he gives up his life for hiccup in one last attempt to set things right. his death and the events preceding it are one of my absolute favorite moments in the book. gives me chills. makes me cry.
that's the thing with the books - they're so realistic. there is no inherently happy ending where everything works out. the first book begins with "there were dragons when i was a boy", implying that they're gone now. the books show there are consequences to our actions. they enslaved the dragons, they fought against them during the dragon rebellion all bc alvin and his mom said to, and now they're gone bc a simple apology doesn't fix hundreds of years of enslavement. and the only way for the world to move forward was for the dragons to leave and heal on their own. and now they have to learn to live without them. and yeah i've heard the third movie ends like that but. it doesn't have the build up. it doesn't have "there were dragons when i was a boy". it doesn't have eleven books of development to back it up, to make it feel meaningful.
i know that the movies are really special to a lot of people. i know that, on their own, they're genuinely good movies. i can acknowledge that the soundtrack is amazing and the animation is beautiful. i just can't see past the way they butchered the world that i love, the world that i grew up with. i can't see past the way people yelled at me for saying i liked the books better, the way that people gave me weird looks when i showed them a picture of the original toothless, when i tell them that nightfuries aren't even a type of dragon. cressida cowell created hundreds of different dragons, and the movies couldn't even pick from that. i can't forgive the way that barely anyone knows there are books bc the movie barely gives credit to them. i cannot forgive the way they capitalized off the books and then shoved them aside. i know cressida thinks they're good movies and i know a lot of httyd book fans also like them. but i just... i cannot get over how much they changed and how they missed so much and ignored the books. also they got rid of camicazi so hiccup could have a love interest and that is unforgivable to me.
if you disagree, that is a-okay. we're all entitled to our own opinions. i just ask that you, perhaps, try the books out. give them a chance. bc they're amazing works of art and also just like. don't yell at people who don't like the movies? whether it's bc they prefer the books or just aren't into that kind of movie. and just remember that dreamworks didn't come up with the story; cressida cowell did.
#corey talks:)#this has been in my drafts forever but i saw something that made me have feelings and so i finished it and here take this iuygfcvghuij#i justgod the books are SO GOOD and barely anyone knows theyexist#and i think that's what makes me the kost upset#or some [people chose to ignore they exist or don't give them a chance bc... i don't even know why. ppl are just so quick to dismiss them#the books are so important to me (literally got a httyd book tattoo) and i get most book fans also like the movies#but it sucks bc i can't go through the httyd tag without being bombarded with movie stuff#i'll even look up 'httyd books' and half of it is still about the movies.#i'll look up snotface snotlout and only finds movie stuff even tho ig they changed his last name in the movies???#i'll look up camicazi and find it filled with astr*d. WHAT.#i'll look u toothless and only see the freaking nightfury. not the original.#like god movie enjoyers at least tag correctly. i get you want ppl to see your posts but the more i see movie stuff in the book tag the mor#i hate the movies lol like the movies are so much more popular than the books let us have our tags okay#sorry if any of this sounds bitter also i hope it doesn't sound like i want to argue or fight#this is just my opinion and i have feelings and i just want ppl to know there are books#also i am not shaming anyone who likes the movies like i already said you do you boo just don't come at me for doing me#bc yes that has happened to me multiple times :) which is one reason why i get so upset :)#i just personally cannot separate the two. i know some ppl can and i'm glad! but i can't and that's okay too#httyd#httyd books
69 notes
·
View notes
Text
Unhappy the worst decision made in Dracula day everyone!
#yes exclude the smartest person in your group out of everything that will surely end well 💀#also don't tell her anything afterwards im sure she will be just fine#(ik its cause of when the book was written i guess but still)#at least the narrative punishes them for this stupid ass decision#shame mina is the one that has to suffer the most tho#dracula daily#dracula spoilers#dracula#dracula daily spoilers
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
CAUSE THIS IS THRILLER (bark), THRILLER (bark) NIGHT
Usopp's outfit is so funny for reals
He got the whole squad laughing
Luffy enablers at it again.... (Robin.... I know.....)
The humor panels so far have been so good!!! God this arc is so funny
HE SAID IT‼️‼️
They look like birds 😭😭
It's just too good... luffy taking cerberus and zombies what can't he do
It's just banger after banger what can I say
Franky feeling for other people because of his guilt complex and sanji lying through his teeth and pulling out the women excuse to seem unaffected... yeah
Look at them.... look how they ate
Omg joyboy reference?? (No)
Sanji is rubbing off on usopp.... also chopper noticing that is sogeking's weapon akdhaksjak
ANOTHER SLAY!!!!!
Their priorities: I'm not strong enough, there isn't enough food, and nami isn't here
Franky going from wanting to kill brook for his jokes to making a joke like his after he hears his backstory... exactly (Robin was already enabling him before the backstory even fdagjsfha)
Sanji is altering his body and actually being on fire to communicate to us how fucking mad he is..... I need more of him going insane I do I do
My god what is he doing ALDJALAJALA
AHSAHAHQHAH THEY ARE THE SAME!!! naaah sanji wouldn't force a woman to be his wife
You cant see me but I am nodding my head in agreement over and over
You don't understand he altered his body to communicate to us how mad he is. He inploded himself and then reconstituted again. Those germa 66 genes are insane
You tell em usopp!!!! The first of many girls you've scared into defeat!!! Akdjqknql
Zoro zombie regressed to not trusting robin akdjaks he's still in there
ROBI-CHO SUPLEX??? HELL YEAAAAAH
There is zosa- [GUNSHOT GUNSHOT GUNSHOT GUNSHOT]
Super frapper gong.... he is doing combo shots with frobin... omg.... parents....
Everything is so fun I'm having such a good time reading.... and then zosan angst like damn I am being fed well here
#in the anime the guys didn't say they wanted to die aldjlajala for the kids luffy just wants to turn into a clam#thriller bark is so funny.... 'worst arc' my ass.... it's funny as hell and then we get zosan angst. best thing ever#same with skypiea but there we got really nice relationships betwen characters and nolan x calgara homoeroticism for the ages#and LORE for the ages. not like the kuma incident won't be talked about in the history books but yeah#everyone calling absalom perv salom... yeah#sanji in that fucking penguin never gets old.... also HELLO LOLA#moira fought against kaido and lost akdjsksnks is that why he became a warlord? just like whitebeard defeated crocodile?? out of spite??#also what is the land of ice where moira got oars? he also mentioned it before too... i thot he was referring to ryuma so it was wano but n#the legend of the continent puller who built a nation of villains.... okay okay oars....#oars was killed 500 years ago.... ✍️✍️ this somehow feels important bc of its closeness to the void century etc#zombie luffy oars wanting sanjis food.... 🚬🚬🚬 of course.....#oars luffy maintaining his dream... yeah yeah. also namis outfits for this arc are so sickening.... i miss them already#the zombie generals being at absalom's wedding... thats so funny..#luffy oars is so funny aldjslsn just making himself a hat and steering his giant ship... of course#you guys think they are going to make sanji mad about the clear clear fruit in the opla or completely ignore it bc his reasoning is bad#like it makes sense with the wci backstory it does but that would be spoilers lmao. so its either he wants to peep on women or nothing#i love the greek chorus of the two zombies telling the audience how they are both as bad in that regard. amazing#did ryuma use french for his attack.... there is zosan everywhere for tho-[GUNSHOTS]#zombie ryuma's design is also cool as hell.... his blood is literally fire.... come on now....#also zoro says he wants to act like this fight didnt happen... is that why he says fuck all in wano to hiyori? damn. he said i put shame#in you and your country but i will keep it quiet bc you gave me a cool sword and fight and i am actually so honorable. thats him yeah...#zombie zoro and sanji remaining tfait being that they hate (love fighting) each other... there is zosa-[GUNSHOT GUNSHOT GUNSHOT]#i forgot how much oars destroyed them... after enies lobby they seem untouchable but without their captain there... the gears are turning..#also btw i cannot believe im gonna get an answer about why the skypieans and the shandians have wings. thats insane#i am enjoying luffy oars so much it is so fun. trying to enjoy it bc i know i won't be laughing anymore once sabaody kicks in.... fuck me..#usopp and franky wanting to wait for luffy to beat oars down but zoro and sanji know... and they will KNOW soon enough....#i forgor kuma asked about ace to nami... what is going on. kuma coming from the warlord meeting too.... did he want to warn him??#he wanted to inform moria about balckbeard becoming a warlord omg here we go.... also moria being racist towards kuma hello???#and he strictly follows the government.... until here bc he lets luffy go.... christ.... he asks about ace bc he knew what blackbeard did..#reading one piece
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.
Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!
Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!
If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
kills me to see homophobic lqr in fics. his favorite nephew ran off with a heretic and got married to him and came back MONTHS later like 'we're in love 😊 we still live here btw' and he was like. alright 😔 come to the banquet as husbands then. not enthusiastic bc he doesn't like wwx but not homophobic!!!
#he literally never shames lwj for being into men he just hates wwx specifically#homophobia is weird in the book bc it's seemingly all internal except that jin ling once called it an incurable disease#like it's there in the background assumptions ig but it's not something theu ever have to contend with externally#which isn't rly a complaint it's far from the worse thing abt the books writing of gay ppl#but it IS slightly weird. WAIT JIANG CHENG IS HOMOPHOBIC. YEAH#and ig lwj's shame isn't rly that confusing coming from such a strict sect w such a personal history#but the lan sect is also not specifically homophobic.#and like aw lxc was so supportive. but also I think a lot of lwj's repression is very deeply self-directed#so it's impervious to external attempts to dislodge it. he has to come to that on his own#but once he is there's no stopping him. even tho his self-restraint was externally imposed initially#ANYWAY. old man lan has his issues w wwx and lwj's relationship but lwj being gay is not one of them!!!#when ppl make him the token homophobic villain family member im like 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪#also of we're gling by the book JIANG CHENG IS RIGHT THERE#arguably also by the drama but I'm too fond of the mm/yuandao line to give up#the hc that wwxs siblings and martial siblings knew he was bi from like age 13 and were supportive#ficblogging
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Modern au:
When Dorian started dating Manon, he was able to see a few things in her that made him suspect something was off. At that point, he was able to see the pressure her grandmother put her under and he felt helpless in the face of that kind of thing.
Manon was really going out of her way to make sure everything is perfect and yet her grandmother kept scrutinizing her.
At formal events, he got to see that first hand. Manon would be super stressed, it would get worse about 2-3 days prior where her anxiety is at it’s peak; she won’t be able to sleep, and can’t keep anything down.
Dorian can see all of her effort and yet her grandmother’s responses are a variety of
“Don’t embarrass me,”
“What a disgrace,”
“This is worthless,”
And it really angers him.
But that was nothing compared to what he saw when they moved in together.
Prior to that, Manon was able to maintain her mask of aloofness and perfection. It was only when they lived together than Dorian saw how she struggles with insecurity and abandonment issues.
He learned of the long months she’d spend at boarding school, her grandmother wouldn’t allow her to return home if her grades are anything below a 100%. She’d call her an embarrassment and let her spend the holidays studying and making up for those grades.
He also saw how she struggles with boundaries sometimes. Moreover, he noticed that she instantly panics whenever she thinks that she made a mistake. Like forgetting her jacket on the counter, or leaving some of her work behind on the coffee table.
Dorian hates hates hates how her grandmother turned her into this person. She honestly believes that as soon as she commits the tiniest mistake, Dorian is going to leave and find someone better. He told her time and again that he doesn’t want anyone else, better or worse. He wants only her and nothing will ever change that.
But of course, his reassurance does nothing to elevate those issues that have been there for two decades. All he can is promise to always be there, that no matter what happens he isn’t going to leave or find someone else.
Now another issue is their families. They attend the same social circles and their families no each other. Chaol is against their relationship because he wants someone other than a Blackbeak to be with his friend. Aelin doesn’t care much, she tries to get along with Manon but the two of them don’t spend any time together to have any sort of relationship.
Then there are his parents; Georgina wants to pick her son’s lifelong partner. The fact that he’s with the Blackbeak heir infuriates her to no end.
Now normally he would ignore everyone and does as he pleases. However, now that he lives with Manon and knows exactly how vulnerable she is, he had a meeting with his parents and Chaol.
He sat them all down, and told them in no certain terms that if he brings Manon over for a visit, if any one of them make her feel unwanted, he’d get her out of there immediately and never return back there.
Dorian is serious, she’s been though enough and he sees how she struggles. That the perfectly put up woman is hiding a lot of things underneath and he hates how he can’t shoulder some of those things. All he can do is love her through it all and hope that one day it will be enough.
#booklr#books and reading#throne of glass#manon blackbeak#tog#dorian havilliard#manon x dorian#manorian#aelin fireheart#aelin galathynius#chaol westfall#he was feeling helpless most of the time#and Manon doesn’t say anything really she just keeps going and going and going burning herself out only to be chewed out by her grandmother#but Dorian noticed it and he was mad#Manon is still trying to get her grandmother to notice her but it doesn’t work#she’s under a lot of pressure and he decided to be her safe space just to try and balance things out#and even back when she was young her grandmother didn’t send her to just any boarding school#it was an elite private school where academics were challenging and where many royals and other filthy rich families went#so it was very competitive and she told Manon that she has to be in the number 1 spot at everything#if she isn’t the first at everything she does then she’s a stupid worthless child who will only bring shame to their name#might as well bring the downfall of the Blackbeak clan#perhaps her grandmother needs to find someone else to be her heir instead because she would want nothing to do with her. just disown her#and move on. Manon spent A LOT of time alone when she was young and it certainly wasn’t safe. she’d still stay in Switzerland tho but not#on school grounds. starting at the age of 12 she felt brave enough to travel to nearby towns and spend some time there. just that she’s#actually a child and literally anything could have happened to her#when she was 14/15 she’s travel to other countries and just spend time exploring new places#that put her in danger because she nearly got kidnapped a couple of times#she got lost and snowed in while deep in the forest. and she knew that if she died or anything happened to her no one would know or even#miss her so she didn’t really care at some point. in the instances her scores were all miraculously perfect she was allowed home and spend#a whole month being subjected to her grandmother’s abuse
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
I remember seeing a (possibly canon, idk man) theory that states that the reason that alchemy tables require mora is because alchemy is basically the transition of matter to other matter, with a little energy from the geo energy lingering on the mora to make the transmutation a lil explainable scientifically
This got me thinking
What if the difference between alchemy and Khemia is that alchemy is the transition from matter to matter (with a little energy to help things along), while Khemia is the transition from energy to matter (with a little matter to help things along)
Maybe the matter used in Khemia (in terms of creating carbon-based things, at least) is chalk, as purified earth, the basis of all life
So if you try and make a living being with Khemia and use the earth as your matter is kinda just… dumps a pile of minerals on the ground near this suspicious dent which wasn’t there a second ago
In albedo’s idle of reanimating that branch, I’d imagine that some of the energy would come of whatever life is still left in the plant
Consider: you can use the energy of your soul to power Khemia. I’d imagine that this would be a limited resource, considering people can only really regenerate kidneys. You might get sick for a bit (or a long bit) so most people only do this in very small quantities.
Now, as far as gold is concerned i believe that she
Was illegitimate
Was from a rich family with shitty parents
Was known as an alchemist prodigy
Attempted to kill her father (~15 years?)
Ran away from police /army for several momths
Was eventually caught, but the government didn’t want to loose such a potentially powerful resource via execution/prison for life
(Was disowned by her parents and adopted by a group (the rhinemaidens) (who she changed her lastnane to reflect)
Signed a deal to work for the government as much ad they needed her in exchange for not going to prison
And she ended up using a *lot* of khemia, to the point where she was facing nerve damage and eventual death on the horizon. A bad thing, obviously
So she sought out some blessing from the abyss that would sustain her and stop from dying from exhaustion, which worked, in exchange for her creating(?) things on behalf of the abyss on occasion
She was generally not credited for any discoveries she made/the actual food created while she worked, as the government wanted to hide the fact they subverted the law process.
This lasted until the mounting if the aggression by the abyss, causing several alchemists to die out on the field, and forcing them to place gold on a higher level of authority due to her level of experience (id say she’s about 28 now)
So she started getting more recognition, though never achieving chief alchemist, until khaenriah eventually fell. Most alchemists died during the cataclysm, leaving her as the head alchemist once there was only a few hundred khaenriahns who weren’t soon to be hilichurls.
As for teyvat’s side of the cataclysm, i believe much of it was due to the fact that all khaenriahn defenses had fell and they couldn’t be a atopgate to abyssal forces descending on teyvat. Additonally, many restraints for domesticated animals likely fell to the wayside and they became feral in a matter of years.
#I like to imagine that this is just completely disproved by canon#like ‘uhm actually there was this one collectible book in a room that requires three hours of pure dialogue to get too#and it disproves the main point of your theory’#there’s way to much stuff to read through to be up to date on lore#I’ve reached the point where listening to 20 minute lore videos loses my attention tho it’s horrible#;-;#why am I phrasing this as if there are people who are going to try and do Khemia#think ive said this before but i think turning into a hilichurl is caused by eleazar and people just die before it advances too fsr#i also feel like khaenriahns have a big culture of shame#to the point where if they see signs of eleazar they may self mutilate to remove them#this would also explain why pierro wears an eye oatch and why dain covers so much of his skin#though for dain’ case i think its more abyssal corruption veining his skin and less eleazar#this has been in my drafts for months#but#here you go#might talk about khaenriahs susceptibility to shame more someday#maybe.#its kinda unfounded anyway i think
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
crazy how we know next to nothing about conor's brothers or his family in general... for the most normal family of the bunch they sure don't do much
#literally the only one of them who ever says a word is conor's mum#and hilariously she's unnamed#when i think of wallace and garrin nothing comes to mind bc the authors just did not bother to develop them at all#i for sure will in a revised history of erdas tho#it's such a shame conor's family are nonexistant as characters bc they had all that drama surrounding them with the iron boar#and then the HUGE opportunity after arc 2 being missed#what with conor going home and being Different with lasting trauma from being infected and everything that went on before#and his family simply not being able to understand#fantastic opportunity for some Substance but missed entirely#ah well#at least i can write#text#spirit animals#spirit animals books#spirit animals series#conor
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#meg talks#feeling sad abt union failures (so far. not giving up yet.)#not to fandompost but like ndsbdnxn every day it becomes more and more embarrassing to think abt the communist book club in de#like damn actually it rlly is just u and one other guy who sees ur vision. if ur even that lucky#and u have to push through the embarrassment of being brushed off and ignored#and the mortifying ordeal of laying out all the ways that ur caught in a vulnerable position and in need of solidarity#only for ppl to not rlly be interested bc their position is more comfortable and so they don’t feel the need#even tho they do actually need it too bc their position could be lost at any moment for no reason at all#and also the envy and shame looking at ppl who pulled off what u haven’t been able to#my friend at my job quit without even having another job lined up bc work conditions became so bad#and i just feel rlly sad and ig guilty that i couldn’t mobilize people sooner so that this wouldn’t have had to happen#like idk. maybe if i was more charismatic or had the money and the constitution to go hang out more w ppl#but well i am who i am w the experiences and knowledge that i have and that’s all i can be or have#so ig ill just keep on pushing and embarrassing myself and smelling of failure jssbdjxn bc how else do u get anything done#sigh. whatever. i just wish i felt less alone in this
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
Irt you post about the archives- Have you read any of the novels? I feel like some of them, like Joey's autobiography, help give a bit more insight to these characters, at least a little.
As for Nathan, I think it's supposed to represent that, unlike Joey, he really was a self made man with good intentions, and that highlights that Wilson was trying to live up to the shadow of his father and instead of being the kind of man his father would have raised, Wilson chose to be as vile as he is.
Memory Joey on the other hand, really is just a representation of this flawed idea people had of the man, only the good parts of Joey that he chose to show. The idealized version of himself that he saw, rather than who he really is. It makes sense to have that contrast there, but he really is just a plot device rather than his own character and it's a shame.
I can't say much for the others, because they feel very lacking. They have a lot of good moments, like the "I'm beautiful." "Always were." scene for example, but outside these moments they feel somewhat empty.
It's unfortunate, because if they had the time, team, and resources, they could have had an incredible story to tell, but limitations with money and staff because of the irl studios layoffs and TheMeatly & Mike Mood making really, really bad choices with their business caused the game to fall short of what it could have been.
we must have read different books because it felt to me like batdr completely ignores book lore
honestly i just feel like the books have been made irrelevant and theyre just kind of telling us stories about these random characters? like adrienne is doing her best to describe these characters but im not gonna lie, as there was some potential to them batdr has been a huge turn off for me for reading anymore (plus that upcoming book is gonna have a yet another completely new character as the main protagonist and im just... bruh how about yall expand upon the characters you already have because this universe is just becoming very messy and full of shallow characters instead of having fewer but interesting ones?? im not against new characters being introduced but they just keep on adding then and then it feels like what we're reading doesn't even matter in the grand scheme of things, that sucks)
sure we get an insight to joey... the only character that actually HAS a lot of complexity and screentime in the games so like yea i like joey and i enjoyed his book but again it felt more like an extra rather than anything that helped expanding the story or the world, i dont really understand their strategy for these...
nathan's and wilson's relation is just uninteresting and shallows wilson's character in my opinion, like what he says to you in game makes out nathan to have been some sort of a horrible father and that'd be kinda interesting and would make wilson a morally grey character
but no he's just a spoiled brat or whatever his archetype is supposed to be and we can throw away the entire symbolism about nathan and bockswell lotsabucks (that cartoon cat from the comics) and the fact that there is supposed to be nathan arch junior and senior making it clear that they changed their minds about the plot just to surprise people (even worse, they ADMIT to doing that in the interview that recently came out... as if it was a good thing ToT) but by doing so they just contradicted clues that existed there before that we could have gotten away from the damn books! like this just makes me not wanna buy any other books anymore because its a clear message that it doesnt fucking matter if we read them, theyre just there to tell us stories about random characters that also wont even appear in the games anyways but we will get 200 more audiologs from other randos we wont care for
again i gotta be sorry for being so negative but im just SO disappointed with batdr and with what the archives had to say
like whatever they are telling their story, its not a sin to be bad and scummy at writing (scummy as in not understanding that youre baiting people into buying extra things for understanding the lore and then making sure you surprise people anyway)
so basically
there is no use for theorising because the message is that they just want to surprise us so if we guess where theyre going they will just change the story no matter how much its gonna suck and contradict what happened before
i cannot comprehend how meatly sees that as a good thing but i guess thats how he wants to tell his stories and whatever makes them happy man
but i find it incredibly shady when you advertise your game as a mystery to be solved and personally this kills my enjoyment of the franchise
#im not saying im gonna leave the fandom but you wont see me theorizing anymore#its headcanons now only baby#and im probably not gonna get any new books#as much as i have a lot of respect for adrienne kress and enjoy her writing#i still didnt even touch the lost ones book tho i have bought it when it came out#and at this point idk if i will#im currently undergoing an awful state when im still kinda fixating on bendy but i dont have anything to power my fixation#in an enjoyable way#and it sucks!!!#ive been trying to get into other things and ive been enjoying different stories but it isnt the same man#bendy hit those very specific things i like about stories but then it started to hit the things i hate#and that is even not to mention all the controversies#its just a real shame#halfask#halfpost#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival
72 notes
·
View notes
Text
Rings of Power is actually kinda fun to watch when you don't have a bitch whispering in your ear about it. Also shes adorable and I'd put my life out for her
#kitty speaks#i dont think its better than the movies or books or anything#and yes theres a lot of stuff that makes you go thats a shame#but id die for nori idc poppys adorable too#durin and disa are adorable as well#the stranger is obviously gandalf but idk i kinda like his origin story her#e#galadriel and halbrand ehhhhhhhhhhhh#it is cool we get to see more of the undying land process tho#nori is one of pippin's ancestors actually ty#shes so took coded ik her name is close to the brandybucks but idc idc#also yes i know who halbrand is i was spoiled long before lotr brain took over again lol#im just not saying it for the people who dont know
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Who was gonna tell me that reading is fun sometimes
#I will bring shame to my eight year old self NO MORE!!!! I LIKE READING AGAIN!! YIPPEE!!!#I think I seriously enjoy reading about the brain and body and trauma like it’s so strange to spend two hours laying in bed with a book but#it’s so nice#I really enjoyed science growing up even into high school I just didn’t have the patience or motivation to finish essays#and my freshman year science teacher got fired halfway thru the year after they found out she didn’t have a teaching license and then my#class got split up into an advanced science teachers class who was way ahead of everything we had learned and then I hated the class and#science in general then in sophomore year I had another shitty teacher who didn’t care about teaching and I literally would find recourses#and send them to the teacher to put on the projector and then I would talk thru the resource that’s fucking real I literally had class#periods where I TAUGHT my sophomore year science class. GAHHHH I still get so bad at that fucking teacher I don’t even remember her name but#she pissed me off so bad cause she paired me with the two guys who always made fun of me just bc I was smart and they were annoying. anyways#depression and adhd and boredom happened and I almost failed that class but still passed in the end and then in junior year during covid#I was taking a biology class and an anatomy class that was supposed to be seniors (seniors did the advanced class and they offered regular#class to select juniors) and I ended up being the ONLY junior who wasn’t doing the advanced course. like. everyone else got assignments and#I had to ask hey what’s the easy version of that assignment cause I’m technically in the easy class even tho we’re in the same class period#and then Covid and I stopped caring at all about anhthing and then dropped out of school and moved down the entire coast so yknow.#I never stood a chance at being good at science but I’m realizing I might actually be passionate about it cause I have been since I was#little I just kind of ignored it and forgot but like. for one birthday I got a telescope and for one Christmas I got a microscope. like it’s#well known to everyone but me that I like science apparently oh my god what’s wrong with my brain !!!! anyways.#I like science now it’s weird to feel passionate about learning I haven’t done that in a long time#oh my god when I took my GED test my highest score was in SCIENCE AND NOT ENGLISH#THIS IS ALL SO OBVIOUS I LOVE SCIENCE WHY AM I NOT DOING SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE RELATED TO SCIENCE
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
while i do love that i decided to write the EOTA trilogy w/ different POVs for each book, bc yea it's just the same 6 ppl working together regardless but it's important to see all of their POVs, it does also leave a lot unexplored for the previous POVs each time. like these things still happen and i DO get to explore them, its just different when it's no longer the POV
#this is namely me thinking about kirsens ptsd + depression and recovery#like book one puts her on the path to recovery and you get to see from her POV as she gets to that point#then she's still a hugely integral character in books 2 & 3 you just arent seeing her thoughts/POV#and her recovery is still taking steps forward AND back over those two books#which the reader will see bc obvs she's still a part of the main trio saving the world#its just. it does make me lowkey sad that the reader wont see her thoughts as she makes those steps#like I'LL know and i Could do short stories on some of the scenes in particular i know will be going on in the background#but its not quite the same for the reader#i dont think i'll ever consider changing my POV plans tho#bc each book has 2 POVs of ppl taking different paths to reach the same theme/moral#its as important to see jashe/novas and isaac/demis POVs as it is to see kirs/luces#its just a shame i wont have the time/ability to write each characters ENTIRE journey thru these morals/themes#lowkey tho i might start a kirsen short story tonight if this mood continues to plague me#i have Thoughts about kirsen. and also kind of myself bc boy howdy does she have a lot of me in her#and i want to explore at least two scenes in particular that happen in the few month interim between book 1 and 2#ones that get mentioned/remembered by jashe but also i just really want to ACTUALLY write kirsens POV of those moments#its one thing to have jashe worrying over her cousin while theyre forced to save the world#its another to see kirsen having those struggles herself and trying to hide them or work thru them w luce
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Big tired lately.
Life is….a lot.
And I’d like to take a small break for a bit where I can just hermit away in my apartment and not be bothered for a while.
#not bad things necessarily#just a lot of social obligations#and as an introvert I’m feeling hella burnt out lately#and then still being shamed for trying to make it through the social stuff the best I can#and that just makes me not want to do it at all#want to go back to having my nose in a book and headphones on more often than not#my preferred state of being since I was 5#art museum today was a nice break tho#meandering by myself and being awed#also one of my favorite states of being#and i miss my boyfriend#and that is causing the burn out to hit faster than if he were around to help recharge#I miss that man so much
1 note
·
View note